All About God.

These heightened feelings on religion have been simmering in my soul since Easter and now I think it's finally time for me to share my thoughts. Usually, I am accepting and sympathetic to organized religion, particularly Christianity. This will not be my usual blog about me finding beauty in faith or positively experiencing it. In my quest for spirituality, I am open to experiencing different faiths. I have shared that I am appreciative of most religions because they teach basic love for fellow humanity-that sentiment still holds true. However, this is a critical look at religion.

A dear friend who has helped me become more interested in my spirituality invited me to join her at a church she regularly attends for Good Friday. I have not attended a Good Friday service since a was a young girl (like 7 years old) with my grandma at a Catholic mass. So, I thought it would be a good experience, especially since she told me it was an alternative sort of church. To her credit, the people were just as nice and welcoming as I hoped they would be. They let me share in their service like I'd been attending for years. That being said, I worry some of their niceness was a result of me "finding salvation.'

I really enjoyed the pastor's discussion. Not because I agreed with him, but he challenged his congregation to think critically of scripture. What the words actually mean, what it means for Christians, and talked about The Passion like the people in it were just like you and me. He stayed true to their mission--Raw Christianity. It wasn't fluffed up, it was real, and their faith was real.

The issue with challenging his congregation is that I did not find the same conclusion he did...instead I was left with all kinds of questions. He addressed the story of the Cross.

God told Jesus to do this. To sacrifice himself for all of humanity, for humanity's grand sin-to be human for biting an apple. He asked us "What kind of God would do this?" What kind of God would abandon his son, when he was crying out to him, "Why have you forsaken me?"

Yeah, what kind of God would do this? The pastor said well, God was full of so much love for us that he sacrificed his son for us. That it was between God and his son. This love, Jesus loved God so much that he was willing to die for us because that's what God said was our only route to salvation.

Okay. Stop. Why?

Why is this our only route to salvation? If God is all encompassing, why does it have to be this way? Why does it even matter about some apple? I mean, didn't he know that by leaving a tree in the middle of a garden and telling them not to eat it, is sorta like asking for trouble? Why was it even all that sinful? Just because God said not to?

It seems that eating it made us more human. It's like God's little experiment went wrong, he wanted us to stay in this little garden and he could control us. But then we evolved and ate an apple, and now God is pissed. And so God had to make up this grand scheme to keep us under his finger--you need to like me--I don't care what you do, as long as you like me. And I'm going to make you feel guilty forever for being curious (even though I gave you the power to be curious). And remember you were made in the image of me...ha.

God is jealous, and God is kind of a control freak. That whole "praise God" is some sort of power trip He's on. It was God's choice to create us, no one asked Him to do it. Oh, it was such a grand gesture to create us and then make us follow all these rules and then to put this never ending guilt because you put an apple tree in a garden that you didn't even want us to eat--then why put it there?

That being said, I think Christianity's mainstream notion of God is man made. One needs to explain life. If you notice God has a lot of human characteristics. Oh, but wait, humans were made in the image of God. Nice save.

The rules inflicted on us is awfully in line with laws of the time. Women were under men--what a better way to justify than to say God said so.

But not all is lost, whether or not Jesus is the son of God or inspired by God, he is amazing. He loved humanity so much he was willing die for us. He's wonderful like Gandhi. He taught love, tolerance, and peace. He was way before his time. He's like the good part of Christianity; he is what makes it beautiful.

Christian God on the other hand, I'm not so sure about. If there is a God, I don't think God is flawed. I don't think we can hypothesize what they're like. I don't God's gendered. I don't even think God cares if we like him. And if God is just like us, full of negative feelings--then there is no God.

So, here's my solution--Love each other like you love yourself. We are all interconnected as a species. All living things are connected as citizens of the Earth. The intricacy of life makes us connected. We couldn't do without each other. Furthermore, all things are really connected- we die, we become dust, and that gives life.