I am Comfortable in My Existance

I am more comfortable in my faith than I have ever before. I am not worried about my after life, I know I'll be okay. I am not worried about being saved.

I am ready to say: I am not a Christian.

I have struggled with this for some time and finally I feel okay to say I am not. I don't feel guilty anymore. I can finally say what I have been feeling for awhile. This is not a rejection of faith or embracing some other lifestyle that is full of selfishness and immorality. My spirituality is probably deeper and richer than some Christian's. I cannot reconcile what I know and what I feel. It is not a questioning faith or blasphemy. I cannot believe in the Christian God, because if what Christianity defines as God is true than He is not worthy my worship. If God is something else beyond Christian tenants, than is it really Christianity? I feel I can be more spiritual by not being Christian. I don't have to twist around and explain some man made Bible, or a jealous vengeful God, a booming voice in the sky, or even original sin. These things cannot be true, and if they are, that God is not worth it.

That being said, I don't think Christianity is bad or it's followers are naive, I just cannot do it. I'd be lying to myself. I believe totally that religion is the means, and spirituality is the ends. I believe Jesus' teachings are amazing, and to follow in his footsteps would not be a bad thing. I do believe religions teach basically the same thing: love and compassion. I try to live my life this way regardless of religion or what it will get me in the afterlife.

I believe in doing good because we are all part of humanity. If I were forced to identify with any religion, at the moment it is most likely Buddhism. I understand the Buddhist reasoning for interconnectedness--that cause and effect, one’s identity, and mutual dependence are all interconnected in and dependent of each other. I believe this wholly and I experience in my everyday life. Our well-being is dependent on the other. We are all human, all connected and so love each other like you love yourself. And in recognizing this and that nothing is forever and everything changes you can finally get to what is real, what matters and reach higher happiness. Like Christianity, I have no feelings on the Buddhist explanation of after death: I mean, I don't really care about reincarnation.

For these reasons my faith rests in humanity. I believe we are responsible for each other for this very reason. Likewise, if I were to be a Christian I would subscribe to the same logic: Jesus loved everyone and since we are all God's creatures we should respect all human life like we do our own. On an entirely different note, my values, morals and political ideology line up with my convictions and understanding of the human condition, religion, and faith--I am not stupid or naive, I am following my heart and my soul (I do the same things you do, but end up with a different conclusion).