But Why Can't You See Me? I am Stuffing My Face!

One of my biggest pet peeves occurs in a restaurant. Apparently, this is a common peeve with women who eat out with male companions. http://www.feministing.com/archives/012447.html#comments

"Is this together? What you're not taking care of your girlfriend?" But, but we're not together. We merely go out to eat... Awkwardness, comes next. The woman behind the counter does not realize the uncomfortableness she invoked. He is like: we're not together, but doesn't want to sound mean because we are in fact friends. And I'm just pissed because apparently women and men cannot go out to eat together unless of course they are indeed an item.

Oh, but it gets worse.

I received a gift certificate to a very nice restaurant and so my date and I decided to go. We sat at our table for a half hour before anyone came with menus and certainly there were no drinks--basically, in a high class restaurant we were getting shafted. Eventually, the owner made his way through the tables to ours and asked "how is everything." My date, being outspoken as he is responded, "actually, no one has waited on us yet." Very quickly a waiter came to our table and took our orders--but he asked my date what we would like. Then he explained to my date at the end of the dinner that the dessert was on them. Then he gave my date a new gift card, and the bill and told him that he hopes he comes back anytime.

BUT I'm the one paying I screamed in my head. Do I really get to be ignored? And why oh, oh why, did he get the gift card and the bill?

The most common answer I received is: well, he's the one who spoke up about your shitty service. This would have been believable until I realize this is a reoccurring theme.
The bill, whether or not my date is paying, always more times than not, goes to my date. It makes me feel bad because well, I often pay. It makes him feel bad because he's not paying. I feel like I should be helpless and he feels like he's inadequate. Then just awkwardness all around about the paying situation.

So, the question is, who should pay? Is it bad when I pay for the both of us? Is bad when we pay separately?

Sigh...