"Talk Bout' Your Revolution, It's Independence Day"

So often it is the “tragedy-that-stops-us-in-our-tracks” that allows an ageless incessant crisis to finally enter local discussion. The crisis which I speak of is domestic violence. In Lebanon County a phenomena is occurring; the taboo topic of domestic violence has suddenly reached the dialogue of our community. Because of my job, rarely a day goes by without partner violence entering my thoughts. It is as if domestic violence is a new crisis of Lebanon, but in actuality, this crisis has always existed. It is neither a novel concept, nor is it a recent trend as headlines have dubbed it.

The conversations surrounding Meleanie Hain, a woman who was murdered by her husband-who then killed himself, is my frustration with my community. I am not writing to discuss my personal thoughts on guns rights or permits to carry as that conversation should not enter into this conversation. Many find it ironic that Meleanie Hain was killed by a gun because she was the famous woman who advocated for her own gun rights at a soccer game. The real irony is that so many find it ironic that a woman was murdered by a gun in a domestic violence situation. This was an intimate partner murder that happened to be committed with a gun. I say this because nearly any object could have been the lethal weapon. The sad reality is that her murder is not all that distinctive in the realm of women murdered—as 1 in 3 women murdered know their perpetrator intimately (compared to just 3% of male victims). And about the gun—in Pennsylvania, 60% of domestic violence fatalities involve the victim being shot.

Articles in the newspaper noted that Meleanie Hain had discussed with her lawyer leaving and obtaining a Protection From Abuse order—she never did. Unfortunately, this is a glaring example the complexities of leaving an abusive situation. It is hard to know the particulars of her situation, but she is now one of many disturbing statistics about women who died at the hands of an intimate partner.

Since the community has taken interest in the recent domestic violence deaths, one should view this as a call to action. Saying this is not an attempt to politicize Meleanie Hain’s death or take a tragedy and use it for some agenda. Domestic violence is like heart disease or breast cancer—it affects women of all backgrounds, races, and classes—and moreover, intimate partner violence will happen to 1 in 4 women in her lifetime. But unlike heart disease or cancer, the solution is not found in tireless scientific research, but is in all of us—it is in our control.

Ending domestic violence will never be an easy task, but has to begin somewhere.

Awareness is the first step—talk about in your churches, schools, social clubs, etc.—because if you ignore a problem you only allow it to flourish.

Change social attitudes towards women—domestic violence is long rooted in the idea that women can be property of their spouse and unequal to their male counterparts.

Know the warning signs of a potentially abusive situation: controlling/obsessive/stalking/isolating/verbal abuse/possessiveness/mind-games/and physical abuse.

Get help if you are or could become a potential abuser through counseling or other means. Get help if you find yourself in an abusive situation. Support friends, family, or co-workers who find themselves in an abusive situation.

Hold your elected officials, police officers, and school district accountable on laws and initiatives concerning intimate partner violence.